The Post Friendship Era or Friendship is Dead

by barce on October 7, 2014

People use words for things that don’t exist. It’s how many authors do fiction. I’d like to add one more word to the set of things that don’t exist: Friendship.

Philosophically, the idea is old. The 18th century philosopher Kant even contemplated the idea of a friendless world:

“Even if there has never been a single example of a sincere friend, we would still be under the moral obligation to maintain pure sincerity in friendship.” (Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals)

I know friendship is dead because to be honest, I don’t have any friends – at least not the friends that existed for me from 2002 – 2006, or the friends I had in high school and college. Friendship was a full-time affair, and really shouldn’t it be? If what makes life worth having is the company of friends, how is it that technology is more important than friendship?

I look at old blog posts here and here, and can see that friendship was hanging out almost every day in the pursuit of some common good, and if not every day at least once a week.

Last year there was someone I knew that was suicidal. Who helped her? The two people that weren’t on Facebook, and on facebook this someone has over 2,000 “friends.”

I’m not going to say that the Internet is bad or that good and even miraculous things don’t come from the Internet.

I do agree with the theory found in “A General Theory of Love” written by two awesome doctors from UCSF that as biological creatures we need proximity and touch in order to heal, maintain, relate and friend.

We have to admit, those who have been around before and after the smart phone and before and after Facebook, that something is qualitatively different.

We have to admit there is something machine-like and sinister about our inability to authentically connect with others.

What can we do?

Be highly skeptical of the use of the word, “friend,” in social media. I won’t name names, but if you are a venture capitalist and somebody is calling you “friend” on Instagram, they are really only after your money. No, your photos are not awesome. Having money to buy great gear might give you bokeh or “sharp at the corners” but it doesn’t make you a photographer. You have to troll people these days to get an honest critique of your photos on Instagram.

If you find yourself calling someone a friend, ask yourself seriously if you’re confusing your feelings at the moment with the pre-requisite sincerity (see above) that is required of friendship.

Throw a dinner every now and then and see who invites you back. Honestly I’ve stopped throwing my Wednesday night dinners because:

1) I don’t feel I could ever meet the standards of people who throw dinners for me. This is only 2 people.
2) The majority of people I’ve invited over for dinner have never invited me over for dinner. About 33 people on Facebook that I just want to un-friend right now.
3) I’ve probably enjoyed your hospitality in some other way, but honestly, you and your crowd never made me feel good enough.

Such quibble as above is hardly worth the trouble. After all this is the post-friendship era.

Friendship is dead. Long live “friendship.”

{ 0 comments }

Instagram hit 200 million users a few months ago.

Of those 200 million users how many can Instagram engage?

cfirst

The marketing team at Instagram sent out boxes to select users. Users with follower counts as low as 188, and as high as 679,450 got these boxes. These users posted photos to the #communityfirst hashtag. I created a list of likes and followers.

In the first 24 hours here are the stats:

117 users posted photos of what they got in these boxes
3506478 followers were a potential audience for the #communityfirst hashtag
78230 people liked the photos posted
2 percent were engaged

If a like is a “click through” which is highly dubious, a 2 percent CTR is about average.

{ 0 comments }

How to Get More Instagram Followers Free Honestly

June 16, 2014

We now know that you can get fake followers and brands won’t know the difference. These brands give tons of money to fakers. We also know that Googling “autolikers” will show us a bunch of apps that can be used to game around 200 followers per day. What does honest engagement look like? A network […]

Read the full article →

High Quality Engagement from Instagram Photo Walks

May 14, 2014

Last year I hosted over 25 photo walks organized through Instagram and about half of these were branded “experiences.” I did this to learn more about photography, marketing and working with brands. It was a fun experience but not so fun realizing I helped generate millions in revenue and just got an Instagram mug from […]

Read the full article →

RIBS for Bitcoin

March 11, 2014

I just found a piece on Hacker News called PR Advice from Facebook’s Head of Tech Communications To develop a compelling message, Marooney advises running it through the RIBS test (will your story “stick to your ribs”?) The RIBS test consists of crafting a message that is Relevant Inevitable Believable Simple If I were to […]

Read the full article →

Litecoin Mining: Building a Rig

December 16, 2013

Last week I built a Litecoin mining rig which cost $1673.96 to build. To break even, assuming I can produce 10 Litecoins, I need Litecoin to trade at around $167.40 USD. It is currently trading as of 12/16/2013 at around $25 USD. The 2 important things to know about Litecoin mining or mining any cryptocurrency […]

Read the full article →

A Social Media Guide to Growing Engagement on Instagram the Hard Way

November 19, 2013

We have clear, big data analytics from Curalate about what an engaging Instagram photo is. We can now create duck-face selfies, with lots of background and blue tones, at will, and get more likes. I just hit 1000 followers a few weeks ago and average about 200 likes per photo. That’s an engagement of 20% […]

Read the full article →

New Music

January 14, 2013

How do you keep up with new music? Spotify? Rdio? I’d love to know!

Read the full article →

3 Alternatives to Showing Photos on Twitter after the Instagram Yank

December 10, 2012

If you post a photo with text from Instagram to Twitter, your photo will no longer show up on Twitter. Lots of blogs have already covered this story. Some have even gone so far as to defend this decision. If you’re looking for photo services that haven’t yanked Twitter cards. Here are 3 that are […]

Read the full article →

How To Back Up WordPress with mysqldump

November 27, 2012

Here’s a quick how to: 1. Tar up the directory: tar cvf WordPress.tar wordpress/. bzip2 WordPress.tar 2. Dump the database. mysqldump –user user_name –password –host example.com –extended-insert=FALSE database_name > database_name.sql I personally use extended-insert set to false because I often have to read the SQL. Here is how to restore from backup: tar zxvf WordPress.tar.bz […]

Read the full article →